Breaking news: The real identity of Wong Yuk Man

I think I’ve just worked out a big secret, which is that the honourable Legislative Councillor Wong Yuk Man and his equally honourable comrades Long Hair and Chan Wai Yip are actually undercover agents that the Hong Kong Government has secretly planted among the pan-Democrats. Their secret mission is, through acts of insanity packaged as fights for the people: (a) to stir up conflicts and purges among the pan-Democrats, and (b) to make Hong Kong people suspicious of universal suffrage.

I now understand why Beijing, and its official representatives at West Point, Hong Kong Island, have never said a word of criticism against them. The three lawmakers have done such a marvelous job in helping the Government to stall the progress of democracy in Hong Kong! (Yeah, to make it look real, Beijing’s representatives in Hong Kong have to make a remark once in a while, but it is not even a slap on the wrist.)

Only this can explain why they act so autocratically, despite their slogans for democracy. “I represent the truth: the only thing you should do is to follow me.”

Only this can explain why they constantly suppress other people’s rights to speak, despite their chants for freedom of speech.

Granted they will continue to have their fans, who have been kept in the dark about their real identity all the time. And they will get re-elected by these loyal fans, to the unspoken contentment of the Government. ‘Now, how many of you folks out there will still support universal suffrage unreservedly, if there is a chance that you’ll be having more Legislative Councillors like these!’

I now understand why the Chief Executive and his many Secretaries have never really got worked up, whatever abusive language or real or plastic bananas that they’ve been subjected to. (And once again to make it look real, they have to issue a statement of regret every time something has happened.) Now that we understand that this is only a show, let’s laugh it off, sit back, and enjoy the drama.

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